Issue 8
September 2001
Karen Layer
Karen Layer lives in Chicago, Illinois with her husband and three children. She has written a series of three lyrical poetry books also containing her artwork. As the books are unpublished thus far, only the first book has been put into homemade book form which she sells at art shows throughout the city. Only recently, at the urging of her friends, has she come out of the creative closet with both her artwork and her writing.
I hand make books and sell them at art shows as I am also an artist and have done painting to go along with some of my pieces.
THE SHALLOWS
You say you think I'm deep
As we're wading through the shallows
I think you're right
As I'm rolling up m pant legs
I splash your face
And notice how the moon glows
We fall asleep
And I wonder where the time goes
You know me well
By not knowing me at all
If fun is safe
Then I think I'll just have fun-
Take off your clothes
And we'll go swimming in the shallows
I'll swim deeper someday, I suppose
For now I think I'll just get my feet wet
When the water's deep
I feel so exposed
I can hide myself from you so well
Just swimming in the shallows
I dry my hair
You have water dripping from your nose
I feel so bare
As you wrap your arms around me
You try to talk
But I turn to walk-
I run back to the shallows
I keep swimming in the shallows
I'll swim deeper someday,
I suppose For now I think I'll
just get my feet wet
When the water's deep
I feel so exposed
I can hide myself from you so well
Just swimming in the shallows
Swim with me-run with me
Splash me and have fun you'll see
Someday I'll swim deeper, I suppose...
"YOUR PEDESTAL"
It's this "bird's eye view" that I fear most
I'd rather live down among the beasts
I don't want to race, I'd rather coast
So happy with less, no fancy feats
Don't put me on your pedestal
I can't do magic
I can't do more
I'd rather die or have to crawl
Than live upon your pedestal
You said you've built it just for me
A perfect home, a perfect place
But I'm so alone, why can't you see
It's dark, I'm blind, I'm high
Can't see your face
I think I'm falling,
falling,
falling,
I want to fall..
Off of your smug pedestal
I liked it once it made me feel
Special, how I felt so tall
But now I know it wasn't real
Soon you'll see it's built in vain
I'm not deserving of this perch
I'm lower than this, I'm better than this
It's time to drop me in your search
For someone new-
For someone who can
Sit upon your pedestal
She'll think she's magic
She'll be more
She'll die for you, she'll take the fall
From high atop your pedestal
I watch you from safe distance now
My feet so firmly on the ground
You're looking up and searching for
A glimpse of life a hint of love
I think you're falling,
falling,
falling,
You're gonna fall
With eyes upon your pedestal
You're hoping that a bird will land
Lonely below your pedestal
Waiting with your outstretched hand
While so much love
Just crawls right by..."NEEDS"
I don't want this need
But I need to feel this wanting
I guess I need some water from your cup
Wanting with such urgency
Means my needs will have to wait
I'll skip the water
If I can drink you up
Do I need my hair cut
Or do I simply want it
Now that is truly subject for debate
Do you really need a smile right now
Or could you simply use it
I think I need that bread upon your plate
When I'm wanting you
I feel in need of you
Am I needing you
Or just in want of you
I feel so tired now
I guess I need some sleep
I s'pose I only want to sleep with you
But it feels like need
When I'm wanting with such urgency
I'll close my eyes and want - no, need
I need to dream of you
(I'll dream my way to you)
When I'm wanting you
I feel such need for you
Am I needing you
Or just in want of you
My needs are so simple
It's this wanting that's so hard
Forget my needs and just
Fulfill desire
I know I need this food and water
Simply to survive
I'll sacrifice them both
If I can build instead
A fire
When I'm wanting you
I feel such need for you
Am I needing you
Or just in want of you
I'm not in need of water
Take my bread away
Give me what I want before
My needs get in the way"STORM BEFORE THE CALM"
I've heard a star burns brightest
Right before it fades away
And hair is always darkest
Just before it turns to grey
A fire burns the hottest
Before the flames all die away
There's a storm before the calm
I am a storm before the calm
I sometimes feel just like
Travolta in "Phenomenon"
Can my life be this intense
Without paying consequence
I shake with such excitement
That the pressure in the bottle's
Building up
There's a storm before the calm
I'm a storm before the calm
Look at how my eyes are clouding over
There's a million words
Keep raining, pouring, spilling out of me
I really don't know where they're
Coming from
But I'll let them drizzle out
Because they feel like therapy
If I'm lucky, you might even want
To read some
And if I die today
Life's been full enough for me
I'm not daring God to make this shorter
Than it has to be
But I'm blessed to've left my mark
Just by putting pen to paper-
Paint to canvas
There's a storm before the calm
I feel the storm before the calm
Is it me or can you see
All the electricity
You feel my storm before my calm
"SSIK KISS"Ssik Kiss - now there's a sick kiss
Damn you and remove your tongue
Damn this - stop chewing my gum
I want you, I don't want you to
You're Ssik KissSsik Kiss - this is really a sick kiss
I shouldn't be here, this is wrong
How could you, why'd you play this song
I need you I don't need to
You're a Ssik KissGet the hell away from me
God, come a little closer
My obsession with your dark side
Is really all I have to offerSsik Kiss - I pull from you, you sick kiss
My mind is racing faster
I'd better walk fast past here
Or I just might not bodily resist
Your Ssik Kiss - You're Ssik Kiss
You are Ssik Kiss